


but deep down, all you want is love (the pure kind, we all dream of)

by xoaces



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Arguing, College Student Eren Yeager, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, F/M, Face-Sitting, Female Reader, I am so sorry for that, Insecure Eren Yeager, Make up sex, Spit Kink, Vaginal Sex, eren feels inadequate, man bun eren - Freeform, tongue piercing eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29864721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoaces/pseuds/xoaces
Summary: eren has a lot of emotions, and sometimes?sometimes they're a lot.(in which eren is angry at you, but is he really?)
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	but deep down, all you want is love (the pure kind, we all dream of)

**Author's Note:**

> part ii to this [fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28864770), but u can read as stand alone :))

the door slammed behind eren, an angry shock racking through the house of your apartment as you quirked an eyebrow to yourself. you could hear your boyfriend mumbling under his breath, the snarl ever so evident through his teeth; so you sighed.

“are you feeling _okay_ , eren?” your face was tired, already knowing what this was going to entail. _you_ were tired, exhausted even, the night being an ordeal you would do more than anything to just erase from your mind.

but life wasn't fair, and it must have been making an example of you for thinking things were always going to be perfect with eren.

“oh, yeah! no, i’m doing fucking great!” eren exclaimed as he stalked towards the couch and threw his body on it, you wincing at the way the thud resounded in your mind. if anything, the traces of liquor still swimming around in your veins was making every nerve and sense powerful on a nuclear level, feelings of sensation pounding through you. bringing a hand up to your the bridge of your nose, you inhaled deeply, throwing your keys on the counter and rubbing your eyes.

“you sure? you seem... agitated,” hearing eren groan, you frowned, feeling the way the island tile felt cold under you through your jeans as you sat on the counter.

“i’m not. i’m _fine_ ,”

“okay. so since you're doing so fine why don't you enlighten me on what-”

“you know what the fuck that was about, [name],” hah, there it was. you scoffed, laying down on the island and staring up at the kitchen light, buzzing ever so slightly.

“no, i really _don’t_ ,” the venom in your words were perhaps more unintentional than you’d have liked to admit in that moment, but your mind was running on anger, something that was making the static in your synapses and the blood in your being intensify by the minute.

“oh, you don’t?” he stood up, taking his jacket of with the same fervour as a high schooler about to brawl. your turned your head, watching him as he glared back at you. “you don’t remember the way jean was basically draped all over you, whispering in your ear and shit while i was gone?” you rose your brow.

“you’re being ridiculous,”

“no, i’m fucking not [name]! that’s weird, that behaviour was weird, him acting like that and you just being okay with it was weird! i’m your boyfriend, babe, do you know how that makes me feel?” his hands came up around him in a wild frenzy, gesticulating his frustration like he was in court fighting for his life. but you shot him an incredulous look instead, knowing the way eren overdramatises everything in his life. this was no different.

“okay, but i-”

“and when he hugged you before we left? listen, _friends_ don’t hug each other like that [name],” you slowly rose from your spot, eyes hardening onto the boy in front of you, feeling your nostrils flare and your

“are you _fucking_ kidding me eren?” he shook his head at you once, wild hair waving and wild eyes wide with a frown to accessorise. you knew that look all too well, a mocking look as if to say _‘what do you think, idiot?’_

“you wanna talk about _friends_?” your voice was low, unbreaking under the wavering glower of your boyfriend.

“you wanna talk about how _you_ felt?” slipping off the counter, you walked towards where eren stood behind the couch, that seat being the only barrier between the two of you, but not to your electrifying rage.

“what are you talking about?”

“you think i was just blind to how you were flirting your ass off with that poor girl? bringing her in the middle of your shit? listen, i know-”

“oh come on, that wasn't flirting,”

“so you know what i’m talking about?” your finger was held stagnant in the air, pointed to his chest in an accusatory manner. he paused, almost staring right through you.

“well?!” you nearly shrieked, feeling like a madwoman.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” throwing your hands up in the air, you turned around, making your way to your bathroom, recollecting the night now that the alcohol had subsided through your body a little now.

the party was normal, as was the ride there and eren’s mood. you remembered him kissing you hard on the mouth when he came to pick you up, commenting on how hot you looked in your simply runway-worthy outfit of old jeans and a graphic tee you found. it was impromptu, the night, so you told eren to shut up with a smile plastered on your lips.

“you know,” your boyfriend’s voice echoed through the house as you sighed, rolling your eyes and picking up your toothbrush. “that wasn't cool, like at all,”

“i know you knew jean before me so you guys have this _different kind_ of connection that i’ll probably never understand,” you scoffed, snickering to yourself as eren monologued through your apartment, as though he were hamlet alone on his grand stage, it being only him and the moon and the stars to listen.

 _this boy is so ridiculous,_ you thought as you spat the toothpaste into the sink, _so fucking ridiculous._

“and that's cool, i’m not saying you can’t have guy friends or whatever. do what you want, i don’t care,” his voice was nearing, louder and strained, “but what i _don’t_ fucking appreciate is your lack of respect towards me and our relationship,” the towel felt warm to your touch, watching eren through the mirror as he entered the bathroom with his hair down and no shirt on.

“and tell me eren, _my love_ , how _did_ i disrespect our relationship tonight?”

“that affection with jean was way out of line, and you know it,” you stood with your arms crossed, observing eren as he pulled out his contact case to remove his lenses, him moving as though he were the only person in the space.

ah, the _hug_.

it really wasn't your fault though, what with eren leaving you halfway in his semi-drunk manner to go and socialise with everyone who walked through reiner’s doors, you were left with no choice but to kick it with jean. and it was no problem either, with your friend voicing his disdain that particular night for socialising being sufficient enough entertainment for you while eren was gone doing... whatever it was exactly he felt the need to do.

“aw. and how did that make you feel?” you started up again, all logic and rationale thrown out the window, “did my poor baby feel like his world was crumbling when his girlfriend hugged her good friend goodbye?” the mock pout on your face was succeeding in agitating eren, you not missing the way his fingers gripped his spare toothbrush with more force than ever necessary. _that toothbrush is cute_ , the random thought jogging through your brain, _it’s nice that he’s over so often he needs his own toothbrush here._

“don’t piss me off [name],” he growled through his aggressive brushing, staring at your reflection and eyes hardening at your smug form.

“please, you do that all on your own,” eren spat, loud and instantaneous at your response, making you want to gag. you turned your head fast to replace your line of vision with your unmade bed, the door open and beckoning. you wanted to move your feet. really. you know why you didn't.

“really? this is what we’re doing?” he was pulling his hair up now, arms flexing, so you bit your lip and looked away once again.

“ _we_ ,” you stressed, pointing to the two of you, “aren’t doing anything,”

“i don’t know why you’re completely innocent here,” you squinted your eyes, staring at eren through angry slits.

“what. is. your. problem?” you punched out, face taking on a look of more desperation as he turned around.

“you and jean. i’m not repeating myself,” he repeated, arms crossed and gazing at you with lazier eyes as though to show you he’s tired. you wanted to laugh; _he’s tired?_

“so what? you think i’m cheating on you with him? you want me to stop being friends with him? or-” he shook his head, hands on his face and groaning in his palms.

“you just don't get it do you?” eren breathed out.

“get what?!”

“it was rude!”

“eren, you’re talking a whole lot but you’re not saying anything,” you remarked, eyes one the tiles and bathtub and voice barely grated above a whisper, “you were rude too,”

“oh not this again,” you nodded, firm and sure, and despite the unwavering want (quickly turning to need) to want to go to bed and sleep this whole lunacy off, you felt the pressure rising within you.

“yes, this again, because as much as i’d like to listen to you berate me for absolutely nothing-” eren rolled his eyes, “-we can talk about your nonsensical shenanigans. as in, why the _fuck_ you went off to make eyes at other girls in your-”

“what was the difference between you and jean and me and annie right then? huh? i mean, you see nothing wrong with what you did-”

eren was relentless, not letting up his irateness and allowing the thunderstorm in his mind to calm. so you let out a laugh, walking away from him and to the peace of your bedroom, hoping he wouldn't follow.

“hey, wait, where do you think you’re going?” you shook your head, trudging your feet against the floor and ignoring the way his deep voice travelled through the walls.

“hey, i’m not done here-”

“well i fucking am,” you sat on your bed, phone in hand lighting up your face and illuminating the creases and corners of your annoyed mood translated on your visage. eren was standing by the door, expression screaming despair and desperation at how you refused to be complicit.

“i’m going to bed. ’m tired,” you said, peeling your jeans off of you and throwing it on the ground somewhere carelessly to leave you in your t shirt and underwear, paying no mind to eren’s wandering gaze, as intensely irritated as it was.

“so that’s it then? we’re just not gonna’ talk about this?” you scoffed, locking eyes with his and taking in the way the space between his brows creased and his eyes seemed to nearly glow ember with how pissed he look.

“no, eren. because what you want to do it argue, not talk. and i’m not in the mood to have you yell at me because you-” you pointed at him, sharp, “-are feeling insecure,” a sharp nasal inhale cut through the air, and you rose an eyebrow at the form before you. eren, shoulders slumped, was looking at you with his brows upturned slightly, bottom lip hanging just about down with his teeth clamped together, looking like a puppy who had just been kicked to the curb.

“what? why’re you looking at me like that?” you tried to ignore the deep pang ringing in your chest at his face, reminding yourself that this isn't your mess to clean up.

“what did you say?” he whispered, green sea foam gaze not leaving you. you clicked your tongue, then sighed.

“you look hurt,”

“because i _am_ ,”

you bit your lip, not even trying to make the internal war going on in your head discreet, your eyes squinting with the way it almost hurt to string together coherent thoughts at the moment. after a moment, you groaned quietly, throwing your head back against the wall.

“well, if you’re not too mad, we can talk about it, properly,” you patted the empty, lonely space at the side of your bed, lifting the covers slightly. eren hesitated, and you could see something of the same broken battle ravaging his mind now.

“yeah. sure, whatever,” he finally voiced, dragging his feet over to you and sitting down, mimicking your position with your back against the headboard and legs stretched out as far as they wished. you sat in silence for a second or two, before you blurted out an isolated thought.

“...are you not going to go put a shirt on?” you queried, keeping your eyes on his, static and unblinking.

“do you want me to?” eren replied, knowing smirk on his face. you chuckled, looking away. the two of you were silent for a good moment again, sorta’ lost on where to even start, the high energy brought down so fast making you feel mentally dizzy.

“look, um,” he started, looking everywhere but you, “i’m sorry for yelling at you. that was kinda’ fucked,” you nodded, biting back a pleased smile.

“but,” the man next to you started, making you want to whine in irritation, “i’m still pissed about jean. and you,” his eyes were on you now, but not so hard. like a koi fish just under the green tinged pond, you could see the reluctant desperation hiding behind.

“okay. i don’t think i should apologise for that though,” you lifted up your hand, placing it on his shoulder before giving your boyfriend a chance to go off again, “and let me explain,” eren’s shoulders lost their tension, deflating along with his whole being.

“i don’t think your problem is with jean as much as you’re making it out to seem. and i did mean what i said, i do think you’re a... little insecure,” you said, after inhaling deeply.

“i don't know why though, if i wanted to be with jean then i wouldn't be here with you, right now,” looking up to meet eren’s eyes, you were met with the side profile of his jaw instead, tensed and moving as he watched the dry paint on the wall. you sighed.

“i know,” he whispered.

“so what’s really wrong then?” you whispered back.

“argh, i don't know [name],” his hands were on his face, and for a second you panicked, the thought of him crying making your eyes widen and heart beat quicken. but his hands left his face and there wasn't a solemn tear in sight, just his contorted expression.

“seeing you with him, all smiley and shit, it just- fuck, it just made me feel so bad. like i wasn't enough,” you frowned, taking his hand in yours.

“okay, so why didn't you just tell me instead of doing all... that?” eren shook his head, lifting a brow at you, dubious look translated good and well.

“because that's so fucking embarrassing,” the way his response echoed in your head, like it was the most obvious thing in the world made you want to scream till your lungs died at the dense motherfucker that was currently picking at your cover sheets.

“oh my god. you are such a kid, eren,”

“what?”

“is this what you do in all your relationships? get upset at shit like this then build up resentment instead of talking things out? what, you spite the people you love when you feel like there’s nothing else you can do?” for a second, you wanted to kick yourself, eren’s face reading like he was about to start another yelling match. but, with his mouth open, then closed, then the thoughtful frown taking over, his thinking was as loud as the ocean and as clear as the sky.

“you didn’t have to call me out like that,” he grumbled, and you laughed, short and loud.

“so?”

“so _what_?” lifting your hand up to move back the stray strand of oak brown hair waving in front of his eyes behind his pierced ear. his head leaned against your fingers, cheek warm to your touch.

“so do you see what i mean?” it was eren’s turn to sigh, his voice laced with his tired breaths, nodding after he thought well and hard, you assumed. you smiled through closed lips.

“good. i still hate you for flirting with that girl though, she didn't deserve to have your weird ass all up on her,” you said, struggling to hold back a smirk as you pinched eren’s cheek, appreciating the way he tried to move back.

“annie? yeah, she did mention how stupid i was for doing that,”

“well, yeah she’s right! if you ever pull any shit like that again with me eren-”

“yeah, yeah, i know, i’m sorry!” he interjected, hands up in mock surrender.

“and why? would you rather have me all up on you?” he said, smiling with all teeth like they were pearls at the bottom of the pacific, turning his unclothed torso over to be closer to yours, his pretty, _pretty_ face inches from yours.

“no, no way? ugh, trust you to get horny at a time like this jaeger,” you commented, hands against his chest.

“you sure? i mean... there’s _no_ way i can convince your sexy ass to get in bed with me?” you rolled your eyes, but almost reflexively, you let your head move back in a way to grant the stupid boy more access to your skin, biting your lip at the way he so expertly kissed your neck senseless, numbing you to everything else around you.

it should have been known by now that the effect eren had on you often took the form of trembling hands and biting lips, him knowing exactly where to touch, kiss, caress to make you feel like you were floating. it was annoying, and embarrassing, the way he could have you under his control with a low voice and smirk, half lidded eyes shot your way almost setting you on fire. and it was unfair, in where you should have sent his sorry ass back to his own empty bed for putting you through that, he was here, in yours, with you like putty in his hands.

“ _hm?_ i’m not hearing anything baby?” you cursed under your breath. the fine line between hate and love swirling for eren was becoming one with the way his body was hot against yours, making your mind turn into thick fog behind stained glass.

“fuck, you’re _not_ gonna make me say it eren,” you said, strained voice already. it was almost embarrassing the way he could unwrap your being with barely touching you.

“oh, you know i always do,” he said, thick fingers already teasing the lining of your already soaked underwear, the other five gripping your right thigh with just enough delicacy to make you want more.

“ngh, fine, i-i want you. now,” you spat, swallowing down the whimper with as much vigour as you could as eren so kindly pecked your lips, lazy chartreuse eyes under low light watching your every twitch.

"yeah? you want who, baby?" hearing his whisper so deep in your ears made you squirm slightly, arms encircling his neck and pulling the boy and his body and his being closer to you, despite his relentless teasing; the hazy line was forgotten again the ocean of hormones flooding your system.

"ugh, oh my god. _you_ , eren, i want _you_ ," eren smiled against your lips, pushing back your hair from your forehead. his hand was warm to your electric hot touch, and the pure adoration on his face was making you want to curl up and scream, stark contrast enough to give you whiplash to separate your head from your neck.

"you're so beautiful [name], i feel like i don't tell you that enough," the fingers moving dangerously close inside of you should have been taking all of your attention right now, but eren staring down at you with all the love in the solar system made the corners of your mouth lift up slightly, your heart on fire.

"i love you a lot, y'know. i _know_ i can be a dick sometimes, and i'm super fucking sorry about that dumb stunt i pulled," eren said, hand caressing your cheek, pulling your own move on you, "you were right, i am insecure, especially with you. i guess... i guess i just feel like i'm not enough, or you deserve someone way better than me,"

"eren," you muttered, holding the hand that was moving about your right cheek, frown pulling at your brows.

"no, listen to me. i feel bad, like super bad," you nodded, sitting up against the headboard as eren sat up in front of you, shoulders slumped in defeat, "shit, i probably made things so awkward with you and jean, _god_ ," his sighing made you want to wince, the self-loathing a sight perhaps a touch out of character for your boyfriend at such a sensual time like this.

_he didn't deserve this. not him._

"eren, look at me," you grabbed his hands from his face and took them in your own, rubbing your thumb over his skin.

"you shouldn't think like that. ever... you know i love you more than anything, right?" the small but surprised look on his face that found its way through every feature of his made you sigh, so you moved just that little but closer, legs on either side of his hips and hands holding his face, kissing him loud and deep.

"you really mean that?" eren's voice was small and quiet, unstable but hopeful. you nodded your head fast, smile huge on your mouth.

"absolutely. you're the best thing that has ever happened to me, eren. don't you ever forget that," you pecked his nose, cherishing the boyish grin twinkling on his visage.

"damn, that's real sweet [name]," you giggled, lips on his once again in a slower dance, his hands firm on your ass. it wasn't until eren felt the strings on sweatpants being fiddled with did he sit up a bit, attention grabbed like a fistful of hair.

"woah, hard already?" you unintentionally teased, the blush on eren's face covering the tan skin like an evening pink sunset in the sky. he looked so pretty like that, tables turned on him so the red face, wide eyes and lifted brows were all foreign for the boy. but, by god, did you love it.

"oh, [name], uh, you don't have to-"

"i want to," your mouth was now hovering over his boxers, dick straining hard against the soft material. eren nodded when you quirked a brow in silent question, you smiling with the gracious permission. your fingers were delicate against his hips as you pulled the garment down, cock springing free as you felt it hit your cheekbone slightly.

perhaps you picked up more from than eren than you would admit, or even know, as you took no time to tease by pumping the base of member, using his own pre-cum to slick your hands easy up, down, up, down, each move more mind numbing than the last. and before eren could sing your praises so early on, you licked a stripe down his cock, hard and firm, reaching the scarlet, desperate tip and taking half of the stiff organ in your wet mouth.

" _ooohh_ fuck," eren whined, pitchy and uncontrolled, hand gripping your head lightly and letting you move at your own pace. he had to fight back the growing feeling to buck upwards and just fuck your face with a stern hold, knowing it would be a disservice to the atmosphere created.

"h-oh _shit_ , _[naaame],_ " you flitted your eyes up, cheeks hollowing around your boyfriend's dick with your hand fondling his balls. his face was flushed completely down to his chest, mouth slightly open in blissful sex with moans and groans filling the air and his hair around his face, the feminine look complimenting him almost perfectly. you trailed a finger up eren's torso, reaching the centre of his chest and pushing down gently, him moving down until his back hit the bed so all you could see was his jaw, stubborn strands of hair now out of the way, probably covering his head like a well-deserved halo.

and you kept going and going and _going_ , until you felt the twitch of eren's cock against your tongue. you released his member, not before kissing his wet tip and sitting up to admire you work. his dick was standing to attention, leaking fairly a lot with eren now looking towards you, frown intertwined with his craving look for _more_.

"why'd you stop babe?" he asked, moving his body towards you and dragging the tips of his fingers up your thigh to the side of your hips, “you were doing so good," you kissed his cheek, letting the contact linger for more than necessary, then moved to his forehead, then lips, fingers touching each part of his face like you were seeing him for the first time in a long time again.

"you do that to me all the time," you remarked, smirking at the whiny look he had written on his face, like a spoiled teenager told no for the first time.

"yeah, you're right. hey, can you turn around for me?" he grinned, tapping your hip with his finger, the mischievous glimmer shining back to you with no shame. you complied, arching your back slowly with hips in the air, trying not to focus on how overexposed you felt at the moment. it wasn't even a full 30 seconds later did you feel the familiar feeling of your boyfriend's cock, condom stretched over, at your entrance, lining himself carefully then entering you, _agonisingly_ slowly.

"is it okay for me to move?" you heard him ask, left hand trailing down your back with the other kneading your ass cheek. you nodded, then replied:

"y-yeah," eren grunted quietly in response, moving his own hips backwards unhurriedly, hands firm on your hips until he found a rhythm suitable. but, still, for you, it wasn't enough.

"shit, is this good? talk to me, tell me how good this dick is to you baby," you felt an unforgiving shiver travel through you, every nerve affected with how low and throaty eren's voice got. you wanted to see his face, and have those forest eyes stare right through you badly, but the almost peaceful way he was taking you was making reaching the summit a tenacious journey. you wanted, no, needed more.

"faster, eren," you whined, letting your body be freed from some of its tension, like a puppeteer loosening the strings, so you met eren's thrusts back with him, sweaty skin slapping against each other filling the air along with distinct pants and moans.

"oh yeah? you want me to go faster?" it was hard to voice your agreement with the whimpers lining your teeth, but it was even harder to nod with your head almost planted into the mattress, eren's large hand keeping you down by your hair.

"i'm gonna need to hear you [name]. beg," fuck, you _hated_ him.

"please, eren. h-harder," you breathed out, groaning every time he thrusted in, hitting a spot making you swear you could see a flash of venus from where you were.

"you want me to do _what_ harder?" you didn't even have to look at him to hear the smirk intertwined with his teasing words, and you promised to get him back for this in your mind. but for now, you had to focus on chasing your own high because you felt like you were simply going to _die_ if eren didn't make you cum in the next five minutes.

"ngh, i want you _fuck_ me h-harder," the feeling of embarrassment was deeply embedded in you, surprising considering all this time eren could still make you blush like a schoolgirl. he chuckled, then slapped the skin of your ass, sound echoing throughout the room.

"i mean, if you say so," eren commented, and with that he then sped up, now leaning over you and snapping his hips relentlessly, two fingers from the tips rubbing in an uncoordinated fashion at your clit. it had stars shooting through your groin and the vision going straight to your brain, the constellation forming with only one thing in mind; him.

 _"oh, fuck, eren, yes, please, d-don't stop,"_ you rambled, the sensation of that recognisable knot quickly building up as your head was in the clouds, release coming quick. your legs trembled and spread farther apart as you came, sweet orgasm washing over your entire being and turning your vision stark hot white for a good second. eren followed soon, groaning long and hard as he slumped over you, panting in your ear. then, he giggled.

"warning you now," he started, planning a deep kiss to your sweat slicked neck as he sat up slightly to aim and throw the used latex in the trash can from across your room, "i wanna go for a round two in like a minute," you chuckled, flipping over to lay down on your back, staring up with a confused look.

"what is this then, intermission? oh my god, are you getting old jaeger?" you teased through your mild panting, watching his face contort into an offended look.

"what? first of all, that's so dumb, we're the same age. and no, this intermission is for you, [name]. i mean, unless _you_ wanna go now?" eren retorted back, smiling with competitiveness written all over his face. you squinted at him, watching his next move, until you shook your head, beckoning him over.

"nah, you're right. i'm gonna need a minute," you mentioned, and pulled the hair tie from eren's wrist. you gathered his messy dark hair at the top of his head, securing the strands into a high ponytail, a signature style you gave him.

"what is it with you and this hairstyle?" he questioned, leaning his head on your shoulder and humming as you fixed the look for him. you had to admit, there was nothing wrong with eren's bun he wore often around, or with the hairband he donned with his hair down on the weekends or when he was feeling lazy. they were all adorable, in fact eren could do whatever with his locks and he would find a way to make it look spectacular. but the ponytail was special to you for whatever reason, perhaps it being the one thing you and eren shared that was specific to you both.

yeah, that _must_ have been it.

"i don't know, i like it on you. i had a friend in middle school who always wore his hair like that," eren perked up, looking at you from under his unfairly long lashes. you swiped a thumb over his brow, admiring his beauty.

"really?"

"yeah. actually, come to think of it, you remind me a lot of him," eren wrinkled his nose.

"what, you had a crush on this guy or something?" he snorted, and you smacked his arm lightly.

"no, you dumbass, i barely even remember him. just that he was a pretty angry kid- like you, and that he barely was in school," it might have been nostalgia or the sudden wave of memory that just hit you, but the way that life sometimes repeated itself through the eras of your time made you smile. you looked down at eren, a distant part of you hoping he'd be there till the end.

"i'm not that angry," eren grumbled, making himself comfortable on your chest, hand lazily hanging on your right breast.

"oh really?" the mock bewildered tone resonated throughout the room, louder than intentioned, "do we need to hash over what happened-"

"no, no, no! uhh, that won't be necessary. like, at all," eren interrupted, hand brushing over the back of his neck sheepishly. you snorted, his juvenile expression so different from the occasional suave look he'd throw you, then paused at the piece of fabric catching your eye from just under the bed.

there, peeking out by the thinner tail, was a deep crimson tie. without warning, you moved to grab the garment, keeping yourself planted on the bed, then sprang back up, the tie hanging loosely atop the two of your hands.

"since when did you wear ties, jaeger?" you inquired, holding the tie up and inspecting it. you heard eren shortly chuckle, shrug evident from the corner of your eye as he sat back.

"i got that for my mom's close friend's wedding when i was like, 16. haven't worn in it ages," he stated, hands behind his head with elbows up at a degree, biceps bulging slightly. you nodded, humming at his answer.

"huh, okay. _saaaay_... do you wanna wear it now?" you asked, the tie between your fingers as you pulled it twice, fabric making a snapping sound. eren frowned, and you huffed at his clueless expression.

"wait, what do you mean wear-"

"i mean let me blindfold you," his eyes went wide, for more than a fraction, and his thick eyebrows shot up like a rocket.

"woah, uh, you'd- you'd wanna do that with me?" he queried, gulping slightly, and you nodded, enthusiastically, "if that's okay with you, obviously," you added.

slowly, but surely, eren nodded, eyes on the red tie as he got on his knees, moving closer and planting a kiss on your mouth.

"yeah, yeah, okay. but," he observe, kissing the corner of your mouth, "you gotta let me spit in your mouth. at least once," he murmured against your lips, and from the look on your face, the boy threw his head back and laughed, deep and guttural.

"argh, i shoulda' known you were gonna pull that on me," you said, scowling with a frisky look glittering in your eyes. you let eren hold your chin between his fingers as he had your head looking completely up at him, neck exposed all the way.

"don't knock it till you try it babe, it's hot. i _promise_ ," eren whispered, and you nodded, completely lost in his eyes. and so he grinned into his deep kisses melded with your lips, purring for you to open. and when you did so, eren spat, landing centre on your tongue; you had expected to push down the urge to gag as soon as you swallowed, but as soon as he kissed you again, letting you push him onto his back, the tingling sensation at your core escalated by tenfold. eren kept making out with you until you pulled back, semi shocked face staring back at his sultry look with an eyebrow up.

"huh," you mumbled, fingers entangled in his locks, "guess you were kinda right," eren beamed, face not faltering even as you got round to securing the tie around his eyes.

"see! i told you so," he retaliated, as smug as ever.

"yeah yeah, whatever," you giggled, kissing the tip of his nose as you trailed your hand down, wrapping your digits firmly around his cock, the familiar feeling of his tan organ throbbing against the skin of your fingers. you pumped, once, twice, and again, savouring the way eren's mouth hung open and head slipped back. your other hand was fiddling about in the top drawer right next to the bed, fingers finding a condom packet as you ripped it open with your teeth, rolling it over the member you had rock hard in your hand.

grabbing eren's own hand, you licked it from the top of his wrist to the tips of his fingers, guiding it to your slit. eren caught on quickly, rubbing gently at your clit then switching out to dip two fingers into you, the slight fill making you pant out quietly.

"you look so pretty like this eren," you gasped as you sank down on his dick, despite the rubber barrier you feeling like there was no better feeling than this. and even though you and eren went at it like rabbits more times that some may categorise as necessary, it always seemed like to you that each time was better than the last.

"yeah, you think so?" eren moaned, biting his lip with his hands firm on your hips with yours on his chest, helping yourself as you found a pace. you began to move faster, bouncing almost with the way you leaned back to hit that spot that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head without fail everytime. the deep, flower pink flush decorating your boyfriend's face was unfairly erotic, aiding you in coming closer to climax.

" _always_ , baby, _always_. you're- _fuck_ , you're my pretty boy, remember that," there was a small fight to get the words out without slurring them, you losing your mind on eren's cock. he let out a short laugh, then frowned, his abs tightening as he thrusted up to meet you.

"shit, [name], i'm gonna cum," you nodded, then touched his face, forgetting eren couldn't see you, but you felt the pleasured expression beneath your slick fingertips, "yeah? _go 'head and cum for me eren,_ " with those words, he did so, arching his back slightly and screwing his face, hands gripping onto your thighs.

"ah, fuck," eren's pants were going straight to your clit, and with you not getting your own yet, you grabbed his hands before they could pull off the makeshift blindfold, placing them near your ass instead.

"nope, no, not yet, i'm not done," you uttered in eren's ear, then moved to centre your wet slit over his mouth. his wrists twisted to place his hands on the insides of your thighs, like always, catching on quickly. and again, you sank down, feeling eren's tongue dart out to lay flat against you, brushing over your sex with careful expertise.

you moaned out, high pitched and needy as the feeling of eren's piercing rolling about on your clit shot through to your entire body. his fingers slipped in from behind to scissor you out, the overwhelming avalanche of satisfaction rolling bigger and bigger in the deepest pits of your stomach. your hand found its way to entangle itself in his hair, and you began to move around on your own, pushing the apex of your thighs deeper and deeper into eren's face, his avid slurping and sucking pushing you closer to the edge.

"h-ah, eren, fuck, don't stop, please," with your mouth hanging open, you gripped harder on his head. his hums vibrated through you, making your eyes roll back further and you ground down deeper. it was truly electrifying, the room growing hotter and hotter with each second you were seated on your boyfriend's face. he placed his hand on your front, thumb coming down to rub on your clit with meticulous ease.

"yes, fucking _use_ me," he whispered, almost in awe with his voice muffled slightly. you gazed back down at him from through your lashes, biting your bottom lip and grinding down again.

your right hand kept moving back aimlessly, deciding to rest itself on eren's thigh until he lifted it, your fingers then brushing over his already stiff cock, "hard again?" you voiced, smirking toothily. he moaned in response, and so you brought your hand up to your mouth, licking it and sucking on your fingers loudly. with a sigh, you slipped your digits around his member and pumped, fast. his hips came up to meet your jerking movements, red, hot tip weeping pre cum making your hand coming up and down so, damn, easy.

"oh, god, 'm- i think i'm gonna cum," upon hearing that, eren quickened, matching the pace with your pumping of his cock until you cried out, throwing your head back and momentarily losing yourself in the otherworldly pleasure. it wasn't too long after until you felt eren tremble beneath you, the sticky substance of his semen coating your fingers. you gave out one last sigh, riding your orgasm out on his tongue as he let you, feeling it from the highest hair on your head to the very tips of your toes.

"fuck, that was good," eren breathed out after you lifted yourself off from his mouth. pulling the tie up slightly as to allow it to rest at his hairline comfortably, you smiled, chuckling at the way your juices looked slicked across the lower half of his gorgeous face.

"yeah, it was," you agreed, lifting your fingers up slightly to observe the cum adorning all over your hand and digits. eren's forest eyes were on you, and so you brought your pointer and middle fingers to your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and sucking off, humming graciously with your sultry eyes on him like a blinding spotlight.

"woah," eyes wide and focused, the boy gasped slightly, "that's so gross," he whispered, and you laughed, placing a messy kiss on his mouth.

"i need to go clean up, 'm sweaty," you got up, swatting at eren's head as he slapped your ass as you pulled a robe on you, making your way into your bathroom. and as you got in front of the mirror, you yawned.

moments with eren took shape in their own distinct personalities. like now, in this bathroom, you remembered how just hours ago you were close to ripping his head off like from tales of mythical beings; it was comical to you how much he could drive you crazy, then spin you back round to normalcy. far, far away in your inner child you always thought about how you would have a fairytale love, reminding yourself to stay calm and peaceful, that romance waited patiently for was one that would blossom into picturesque scenes of daisies and roses, rainbows and sunshines. a simple love like that was what you had always envisioned in your daydreams, one with a kind and caring person that was almost too well put together.

obviously, _nothing_ like eren.

eren was kind, sure, through his teasing words and ruffling in your hair. he knew how to make you special, not only when his head was between your thighs, but in his own special way. it was kindness tailored specially to you, in knowing when you were feeling down from the twitch in your brows and not putting the onus on you to pick yourself up again. it was in memorising your favourite takeout orders, in buying you flowers with a nervous smile on his lips, in kissing you before you left everytime. you smiled to yourself, stepping in the shower and feeling the warmth come back to you under the hot, sharp trickle of water.

he was caring too, oh, so very caring. not only in his touch, usually seductive to make you feel perfect, but in _everything_. his words, a personal favourite of yours, wherein despite his juvenile insulting he'd hit you with to see that fed up face behind annoyed smiles sometimes, he could give you sonnets of shakespearean value in his texts, ballads of nothing but beauty with the way he'd tell you how he thinks you're the single most attractive person he'd ever seen in his life, poems of the prettiest words when he thinks its been two hours too long since he told you how much he loved you. with a chuckle, you lathered the soap on your rag, arching your neck to start cleaning.

but well put together? the concept being synonymous with eren jaeger was enough to make you snort ungraciously, it being the very paragon of contradiction. the boy came with a lot of baggage, something you had suspected the very first time you saw him borderline sobbing in the library from his mother's death. it should have clicked then, that perhaps eren wasn't going to be the easiest person in the world to be so damn close with.

but _fuck_ , if he didn't make it so difficult with those river green eyes and irresistible smirk to ignore his advances. he was such a good flirt too, but you'd never admit that to his face.

now _that_? _that_ would be fucking embarrassing.

that was another thing. a compliment from you to eren sent would be a compliment straight to his ego, his head only ever growing bigger. you learnt semi-early on that he’d bring up every nice thing you ever said to him to tease you when you were feeling snarky. then, you frowned.

there were times you could recall when eren slept over, you and him entangled in limbs and body, presumably asleep when he’d ask out to you in the dead of night, asking if you really meant all this glorious things you said about him, to him. usually you'd sigh, caress his face, look at him lovingly, place a purposeful kiss on his forehead, tell him _yes_ and to _go to sleep_. 

and he’d do so, and _you'd_ do so, except for when you stayed up a little longer thinking about why he’d ask you that. eren surely knew he was fantastic, and smart, and funny, and _so fucking hot._

so why did he need you to clarify, like a kid so unsure in the world of himself?

turning off the shower and stepping out, you wrapped the towel around you, fixing at your hair and staring at your reflection. if anything, the man probably splayed out on your bed fiddling about on your switch (most likely fucking up your animal crossing island) was something of the enigma you previously speculated him to be.

you thought, as you pulled your underwear and sweatpants on, about how the familiar childlike joy that twinkled in those emerald and amber eyes of his. it was scattered, like a broken sequence, in the way those eyes lit up when you would jump on his back for a piggy back ride, or when he'd playfully try his favourite wrestling moves on you, or, with a sad down turn of his look and melancholic smile, it was there when he'd show you memories of his childhood, his hometown, his friends, his _mother_.

but it sometimes didn't even need to take half a second for that juvenile glimmer to be replaced with something more dangerous, captivating, but most importantly, focused on you. even a few hours ago, when eren was out with a vendetta in the form of trying to make you jealous like a plan composed by that of a sixth grader, you could see, even from the low lights and pounding music, those eyes weren't really the same as the ones he would give you. _still_ , you thought as you hung your towel on the rack behind the door, _he's an asshole._

"hey," eren yawned, grinning boyishly as he saw you emerge from the bathroom clothed. you smiled in return, letting him pull you over his own body as wrapped his arms around your form.

"hi... you sleeping here?" when you looked up at him, his visage was contorted into a thoughtful expression.

"do you want me to?"

"you already have my shirt on," you commented, fiddling with the washed out material clinging to eren's body, "so you might as well," he laughed, turning over and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"no, _no_ , i asked if you want me to sleep over," his fingers were in your hair, caressing your scalp and biting at your jaw. you sighed, and held eren's head in your hands.

"of course i do," you whispered to him, and kissed his nose as he closed his eyes, nestling on your chest and humming.

"[name], i'm really sorry, y'know,"

"eren, it's okay, go to sleep," you breathed out, patting his head gently.

"no, i was thinking about it when you were in the shower," he pushed, drawing lazy patterns on your arm, "i was thinking about what you said, then i started thinking like, 'why did i do that? that was so stupid-'"

"obviously," you muttered.

"-but aside from that, why was that my first reaction, y'know?" his chin was resting on the centre of your chest and he was looking up at you, eyes wide and brows fairly high. you nodded.

"like, yeah i hate jean's guts kinda, but i wasn't even thinking about you or your feelings in that moment. i was just so pissed that i wanted to get your attention back on me no matter what," _he’s rambling,_ you thought, as you kept your fingers moving softly through his freed hair.

"right,"

"and i guess whoring myself out was the only thing i knew to do well," you stifled a giggle, looking away momentarily as to not guffaw in eren's face. he could be so unintentionally funny sometimes, something he probably didn't even realise about himself.

"instead of talking things out?" you suggested, swiping a thumb under his eye. he nodded.

"instead of talking things out," you hummed.

"i mean, i was always a pissed off kid, right? but after my mom died when i was 10, all that shit was just way worse, like i was dealing with having to grow up, and not having my mom with me? a-a-and my dad was barely home with his doctoring shit, and mikasa was being overbearing as fuck and i was getting into fights every other day and-"

"eren, slow down," you mumbled, kissing his fingers.

"right, sorry. _ah_ , i guess what i'm trying to say is that i didn't really have anyone to tell me all that shit was wrong. y'know acting out when i get mad without taking into account how it would affect others. _god_ ," he huffed, laying his face flat on your front.

"i'm such a piece of shit," you sighed, pulling eren off you and shimmying down so you could lay on your side, facing his tired expression.

"nobody thinks that babe,"

"really? because how could anyone _not_ think that,"

"because that's not all that makes you," eren looked at you, his eyes worn and mouth pursed into a thin line, "sure you're abrasive and irritating sometimes, and you're such a fucking hothead-"

"geez [name], thanks, i feel so much better," eren rolled his eyes, and you flicked his forehead.

"let me finish, idiot. you're a lot more than your flaws, okay? everyone is, and its not fair to just amount yourself all to a few traits. you're nice, and caring, and funny as fuck, and smart when you wanna be," you stopped for a second, letting eren kiss you briefly.

"i guess what i'm trying to say is that everyone loves you. despite what you hate about yourself, i see it in the way armin, mikasa, reiner, connie, shit even ymir and jean, the way they look at you tells me that you're such a staple in their life. a good kind. everyone loves you man, i just hope you can too," you finished, sighing out with your head faced to the ceiling. eren was silent for a moment.

"[name],"

"yeah?"

"that was so fucking corny," you smacked his arm, pushing his face away from you as he laughed aloud.

"no but seriously, thank you. you're too good to me, i don't deserve you," he whispered, quiet and timid, almost embarrassed with the way he found himself back into the crook of your neck. you clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes.

"you do eren, you deserve everything you think is great," you retorted back to him, love lacing your words like thorns on a rose. it was probably gonna take some time to get through to eren's self loathing and make him realise how he really was.

"yeah?" he said

"yeah," you echoed, kissing his forehead one last time as he snuggled on your chest, listening to your heartbeat lull him to much needed slumber.

-

**EXTRA**

-

“[name],”

“oh my god, what eren. _what_?”

“you didn’t mention that i was hot,” you frowned, looking at eren in your half asleep state.

“what are you talking about?”

“when you were listing all those things about me. you forgot to mention how handsome i am,” he gasped, hand over his mouth, “do you think i’m ugly [name]?” you stared, frown unwavering but the twitch in your eye profuse.

“eren, go to sleep,” you mumbled, turning away from him. but of course, from the inflection in his tone, there was no way he was letting this up.

“nope! i wanna hear you say it-” he had his hand on your shoulder, lips by your ears and invading _all_ of your personal space.

“eren _stoop_ , leave me alone,”

“-c’mon, say it say it say-”

“fine! you’re hot, eren. objectively attractive, a fine specimen, you put everyone else to shame. now, sleep,” you said, not persisting against the kisses he trailed down your neck.

“thank you darling. you’re not too bad yourself,” he snickered, and you grabbed your pillow, hitting eren on the face with it and ignoring his whines. he was so damn stupid, but he was yours, as you were his.

and with that thought, you let yourself be drifted off to sleep, letting the boy talk his own ear off into the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> notes: hi again
> 
> so i wasn't planning on making a part two to this, and since i didn’t want to physically add it to the first fic i just made it so it would be possible to read as a stand alone.  
> this eren is more him at 15-18 rather than the one we have now (but physically he’s 19 yr old eren) since if i was to write for that eren this story wouldn't have such a nice ending and i’d feel awful writing it lmao  
> also i originally planned on making this a lot more angry than this but idk man i’ve never been the best at writing out argument scenes lol  
> sorry for the shitty smut scenes this is like my third time writing nsfw and its still pretty hard for me lmao (i hope some of u guys enjoy the sp*t kink rep lol)  
> comments mean literally everything to me so please dont hesitate to do so!  
> come say hi on [tumblr](https://judarus.tumblr.com)


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